uh...... no.

holy hand grenades

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 22:02:25 GMT

i havent been here in a while.

its been 11 months since i posted and it was a nice slap of reality to read my last post. a year ago i never couldve predicted how far i would have come from a seemingly hopeless situation.

in the last month.. i bought a house in oregon hill and i married (clean)bobby andrews. i turn 27 on monday. i work 3 jobs 6 days a week, a double on mondays. i play basketball weekly. drink less and less. totalled my car got a ton of $$ and bought a bike, forgetting how much i like being on my feet.

everything fell into place. i kinda always knew it would .. i guess i never figured so much could change so fast. my chins up. always up. and to you and yours keep your chins up too...

Tue, 09 May 2006 19:46:24 GMT

im broke and thrifty.. you shall profit..
everything is hand painted so everything is one of a kind. unique. you know.. not something any one else will ever own so you will be the envy of everyone!! muahah. or not. moving on...

(ignore shitty scans)

first up are jewelry boxes.. 8$
(3 inches around 1.5 inches tall)

then custom 3D belt buckles. this one is waynes but if you give me any idea or design i will make one for youuuu.. 25$
(3.5 x 2.5)

next up picture frame.. 10$
( 8 x 6 )

and then lastly my favorite... the hand painted crosses.. 20$
( each one is 6.5 x 9 )

these two scans didnt capture nearly enough detail in the line work but you can imagine compared to the next two.

~~.bunny..20$~~ SOLD

...25$

~~and this one is my all time favorite so i am having a hard time letting it go so shes 30$~~SOLD

these are all i have right now but im painting mroe and more day by day so if you have requests or what not go for it.

thanks buddies.

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 19:38:40 GMT

my boyfriend is upstairs sleepign because hes depressed and would rather ignore life than fix it.

but fuck him cause im in the best mood ever.

my new work schedule has me downtown 5 days a week and i get all my favorite coworkers and the bar crowd to keep my alive and smiling which is a drastic change from the rich white fuckers who eye me up and down on patterson and question my management position.

and last ntie rob fucking tibbs made me steamed shrimp and clams and we watches the spike jonez (sp?) video collection and just died over what ti felt like to be 15 and see half of those videos for the first time. hes my god damn best friend and having him around to do thingslike that for me makes me not even need a boyfriend around.

THEN AFTER! i had art time and fuckign COLLIN! of all people texts me to see if i wat a free meal at 4th st so i run off til 2am laghing my ass off and remembering what its like to feel excited by people and actually feel alive outside of rountines.

THEN! come home to messages from james "rust" who i havent seen in ages (why im listening to a.f.r. at the momnent also) and coudlnt stop thinking aboutt he days i would travel endlessly for adventure and always come out on top.

THEN! ben white (fuckign ben goddamn snakepit white)writes and says hes in town for 2 FUCKING MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i havent had him around since i was 20 and through all the distance hes still ben an amazing friend and having him in person is making me giddy with anticipatin for all the drunken nights iwill sit on my front porch and listen to the queers and hate life with him.

seriously. i love today. and ALL of this shit pisses wayne off. that i have connections with males.. lasting friendships.. and memories that can never be replaced. and i realized.. i would rather have these moments.. these intense friendships without judgement or ridicule.. just sincere balsl to the wall laugh to you pee friendships... then be in a relationship that condemns me for wanting to smile.

OH AND BY THE WAY ANDREW... i havent made mention but the last two talkes we have had at helens make me want to bring you around more because you keep me challenged.. and thats what i like in my friends and what i need around mroe often. not to mention the fact that you are still in constant production.. be it writing for others or yourself you are motivated and i lack that. so im making YOU come around more.

yup. thats about it. im fucking happy and i dont care who it hurts.

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 01:22:06 GMT

so travis called late last night to tell me he found neil drunk and passed out in an alley in jackson ward.

this morning i wake up to two missed calls from neil and when i call him he tells me hes on his way to monessen. he basically called in sick to life and is now here with me trying to figure everything out.

im stoked to have him cause ive been pretty bummed lately and itll be nice having someone i can actually talk to sitting right in front of my face.. and itll make the time go by faster having someone to be retarded with.

10 days and im home. home to all the friends i miss and the boyfriend i sickeningly adore.

and yes... more than richmond or wayne im STOKED to get MARSHE BACK IN MY LIFE!

there. now no more mean phone calls. xo

Wed, 25 May 2005 23:33:12 GMT

yeah so this was my final. its a multi piece which means
obviusly its three different molds and pours blended
together on the face. its Marv from sincity. as in the
comic. i refused to see the movie or look at any stills til
this was over so iw asnt influenced either way. so its
my version. my planw as to make it look black and white even
in a color photo. so here are two color photos. woooooo.

comment.

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 03:44:08 GMT

"Say goodnight, but mean goodbye"

Ladies and gentlemen, the rumors are true. After ten years, close to a hundred recorded songs and several trips around the world, The Get Up Kids
will be playing their last shows this summer. We're celebrating the release of our as-of-yet-untitled live record and we're coming around one final time. We'll be playing gigs in the west, in the east and in the middle of the US. Our very last show will be in Kansas City, MO (our hometown) Fourth of July weekend 2005.

As a group we'd like to thank each and everyone of you for supporting us over the years. Whether we slept on your floor in '97 or you drove
all the way to Lawrence to see us play in '05, we are forever grateful. We feel it's best to let the last ten years speak as a document for what the
band was. We can look back and say that we are proud of everything that we accomplished. In the end, we will always remember this as a good time;
we hope that you remember it that way too.

See you this summer,
The Get Up Kids

anyone wanna go to kansas city with me for the 4th? sadly, im serious.

Sat, 26 Mar 2005 02:20:38 GMT

there is no better feeling of accomplishment
then when you complete a mixtape that holds
up from begining to end.

im seriously giddy with anticipation.

the god damn us postal service just cant
get this there fast enough. uggggghhhhhhh.

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 00:45:45 GMT

so im feeling pretty good about today despite
the fact that i slept in til 1:30. all in all
i managed to clean ym entire house and organize
it, i did my workout routine twice,
killed some crosswords, took a crucial bath to
modest mouse, and got inspired to do a new
painting.

my grandfather gave me crabmeat dip yesterday??
im a little thrown becaus ei swear i hate seafood
but i cant get this shit of my wheat thins. what
the hell?

i wish someone here would call, i wanna play pool
or throwdown on some trivial pursuit gr.

in other news i made an appointment to get my ribs
tattood and im scurred. but at least its going
to be a fugazi lyric. one side will be
prettyish and the other will be deadlyish and
it shall say...

if i stop to catch my breath...
.... i might catch a piece of death

over and out.

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 14:02:55 GMT

I've been up since 7:30
its so cold. and schools delayed 2 hrs. i should
be finishing up my Maxx animatronic sculpt. i am
burning 4 copies of lucero instead. what fun will
it be for all my pa friends to see me get drunk
and cry and not offer them the chance to do the
same you know?

The Boy
i really dont mean to be so cryptic by being so
vague. i wish i could say im trying to protect
my privacy because *benji* and i really dont want
to deal with the press. however, i was just trying
to spare Tim the details. he doesnt read this now,
and i doubt he'd much care. the infamous boy is
keith. "keith babe" if you will. he's alright i
guess. hahah.

I gotta stop killing myself
over the past. i dont need closure. i dont
need to see these faces again, they dont validate
me. they dont need to hear nor give excuses.gone is
gone god damnit. ergh.

I think i need to date older guys
no offense to keith, its not like i'd break it off.
but i keep thinking about how much tim changed over
the last 3 years. like i read his myspace profile
the other day and couldnt even believe i ever dated
him. if i met him now i would laugh at the idea. his
entire life seems to revolve around activities that
not only hide his intelligence but are robbing him
of it. such a fucking waste. and im scared if dont
step up the age range with the boys i might find
myself in another situation liek that. not that people
are not allowed to change, evolve, etc. but you cant
become and entirely different person. hmph.

Wed, 29 Dec 2004 05:46:43 GMT

OKAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i make stuffed animals. dead rabbits to be exact.
they are ADORABLE. and they are 20$ or 25$ with shipping.

they are 2 feet tall, hand sewn, and can be personalized (x's on hands, stars, heart in rib cage,wings, whatever)

i will be selling them at mars bar THIS THURSDAY

i repeat.. MARS BAR this thursday...

holla if you want one custom or..

send money to: beth. 308 n 6th st. monessen pa 15062.

the end.

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 04:37:41 GMT

as reported on fbmbmx.com..

"Robb TIbbs! Rob followed this monstrosity of a vert wall air with a ... Get ready for this one.. A 900! I don't know if a 900 has ever been done on a mini ramp, let alone a mini ramp made from pallets and scrap wood. There's a good chance that Rob won the contest, but like I said, I didn't really pay attention. Super mega shout out props go to Rob for this super human display of ghettofantastic riding."

i am one proud mama beth right now. i'm so bummed it didnt work out for me to meet up with rob and get out there to ny last weekend but ti might have been for the better. im pretty sure i wouldve smothered him in gross girly hugs.

sigh. i dont think ive ever felt so proud before. he did end up winning first in pro. of course. and now he gets to go to fucking mexico or some shit to ride. weirdness. it feel so weird to be so proud. but rob is such a good person and times have been setting really low for him.. i think it was that "shit cant get any worse" mentality that pushed him to even do such a crazy ass trick.

makes me homesick to see and hear all about it everywhere too. one of my favorite rob memories is when we would ride our bikes down to awfuls together and right before grace st ends.. on the left side of the street there is a lil tiny natural ramp on the curb and that fucker would always 360 it while i was gripping my coaster brakes like a 4yr old girl. haha

i cant wait to get home and drink with him again. ah. yay. this is my rob appreciation post. xoxo

matt goens appeciation post..

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 03:55:24 GMT

Dear Matt, I want to put these words here for everyone to see and more importantly for you to be able to reference on nights when the world has you down.

from the first time i saw you i wanted to know you and having you in my life has never been a disappointment. you're intelligent, witty, sincere, humorous, spastic, outgoing, understanding, and most importantly adventurous and attractive. haha. you seem to be in a constant pursuit of having fun. despite anyone else's opinions or the repercussions. i hope you never lose that. anyone who can sit down over coffee and smokes and find it hard to sit still at the mere mention of travel or dr doom.. ah Matt. you just have a good heart. a good soul. and anyone who knows you is lucky to have someone like you around. You keep the rest of us smiling maybe even a little youthful. you're a goofy bastard.

haha.

Most importantly Matt Goens you're a good friend. after our long and tedious relationship (ha!) you managed to stick around as a friend. Something boys often say they will do but never follow through on.

There are very few kids I would every stick my ass on the line for Matt. but I did it in the past and I would do it again.

Thank you for being in my life even if it is at a small degree right now. cause I know no matter how far I go in life I could always call you .. or sit down for coffee. and it would be like nothing changed.

all that and I haven't even known you a year.

please find time between september 29th and october 4th to find me in Richmond or help me make arrangements via greyhound to come see all of you!

and finally matt goens...

give me your fucking home address.

the end.

xoxo

elizabeth anne threat.

bout that time...

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 03:45:21 GMT

Sat, 28 Aug 2004 13:32:25 GMT

its too early.

time to go to ozzfest. lamest.

at least i dont have to pay.

look here for pictures of me and phil anselmo at a later date.

Thu, 26 Aug 2004 00:59:34 GMT

best day ever.

first off....
scott wilde> calls.. "so im talking to my friend big kevin and im talking bout how you are going to the horror movie school and if they need zombies for the new dawn movie i get first dibs and hes all wait a minute.. and pulls out some magazine with gore in the title? and says this girl wearing a terror shirt.. and im all HEY THATS BETH... jeez beth way to wear a terror shirt.. yeah they need more hyping.. i mean embrace today.... sheeesh"

10 points to me for being famous in boston as the hardcore girl in a horror magazine.

THEN....
matt king im'ed me. talk about your rare encounters. i feel like i shouldcall an unexplained mysteries show or something <3

plus...
i figured out a way to have an income of 109,200.00 a year by the time im 30 and finally open the arrrcade and forensic scene... what? you thought i was done with them? puhlease nukka.. i finish everything i intended to do.. just not on the deadline. i mean it only took 86393 years to get here.

and to top it all off...

i have a tim.. and i have 10 days off from september 24th til the 4th and i am gonna come to richmond and watch my boo in skate contest.. and get to see nicole, kara, matt k, rob tibbs, neil, and evvvvveryone else.

and im bringing a DART BOARD

thanks for all beling alive people. i love ya.

Tue, 24 Aug 2004 19:47:47 GMT

a poem for beth.
by ben snakepit.

I'm weeping like a willow
and I'm mourning like a dove.
theres a girl in pennsylvania
that I know I really love.

* **************************** *

i decided there are 3 people in this world i miss A LOT and i need to start saving money and traveling to see them ASAP. and in order they are..

tim harris.
ben snakepit white.
and rob tibbs.

i have had 3 of the best boys bless me with their friendships.

Tue, 24 Aug 2004 04:34:54 GMT

im soo tired.

just got back from working on terrormania.

all i want right now is a warm comfy bed and timothy lee (francis) harris.

i want to marry him.

and make little dre's and maybe caleb's.

i want to nurse his skating wounds.

and fall asleep together after a long day of work.

i want to surprise him with romantic candle lit dinners while my mom watches the kids.

i want to be done with school already so we can get on with our "life"

yup.

suck it.

Mon, 23 Aug 2004 01:23:50 GMT

things arent so good.

to start off...i'm sick. i've got that doped up achy, fevery-chilly, irritable, out of it, just plain shitty feeling.

i dont want to take too much medicine because i dont want to sleep through my alarm, and no matter how i feel i cant miss a single class.

in other news i feel really euphoric lately. when i close my eyes i can see who i am going to be. where i will be living. what my house will be like. what jobs i will juggle and what it will be like picking my kids up from daycare. i even have my wedding planned with no compromise. most importantly wheni open my eyes i know how it is i am going to get there.. and i dont really feel like having people in my life who will complicate my plans. the wedding part... thats up in the air due only to the fact that it means i have to count on someone else in my life to stand beside me in the whole i do-ness.

everything else only needs one person to carry it out. and thats fucking me.

i feel like maybe lately im too independent.

i have this over ambitious attitude that will not be jeopardized.

i guess now is the time to say to a few faces.. either fall in line or get the fuck out of my way.

please ...

Fri, 20 Aug 2004 20:21:21 GMT

please take the time to read this.

this story is so intense for me to write i don't even know where to begin.

I guess before I tell this I should really explain the legend behind the man I will be writing about. Dick Smith. He is undisputedly the pioneer in the make up industry. He has worked on everything from the exorcist to the godfathers. he himself came up with so many techniques and effects that the industry uses. He is respected by all and at 82 he is truly an idol in this genre.

he spent the last two days at our school guest lecturing. you would have thought god himself was making an appearance. the school spent so much money fixing the place up for his arrival. being such a celebrity it was an honor for any of us to be near him. however the only thing more legendary then his movie credits and skill was his attitude. we were told, or have known from first hand accounts, that he was an asshole. he would tear our work to shreds. we were not to ask for autographs and if we could.. just avoid talking to him at all costs.

the last two days have been hell as everyone ran around like mad trying to look and act their best, try not to insult Dick Smith.. or even make eye contact for too long.

The man seriously has an aura around him I have never experienced. The most respected and revered teachers coward like children to his presence.

imagine someone you respect and admire.. that you hold on a superhero type status,.. be it a musician.. an actor.. an author.. someone who's name alone is almost intimidating. and if it helps you to understand this story.. replace their name with his.

and on we go.

Today Dick Smith made his rounds with the different classes to see all semesters work. He marched through our class quickly and barely made a sound. everyone was so nervous you could hear the class collectively inhale and hold their breath until he left.

I thought "so that was it?" relatively painless yet not exactly enjoyable.

about one hour later he came back in and asked if anyone had any questions they would like to ask him, and 30 minutes later we found him sitting in the middle of our class talking endlessly about movies and actors. how he almost got in a fist fight with dennis quaid, and how dustin hoffman would send him checks for movies he had worked on even after Dick was well paid through the producers, just because dustin thought he did such a good job. the class was silent hanging on to every word and as the minutes passed more and more students filed in.

Every eye and ear was focused on this one little old man. Every movement, every sound, every hand gesture, we were taking notes.

It was like sitting in front of our fate. He could make or break us. everyword to every questing perfected to make sure as to not offend or attack. Everyone was on guard.

Then his tone changed. From confident and scripted, to relaxed and carefree. it went from a lecture to a conversation. We started warming up and interacting, yet still on our best behavior.

and then it happened.

He had gone off on a tangent as he so loves to do and he started talking about the days when he first started off in makeup. About being unsure of his skills and application. and then a sort of calm came over him and he started talking about his past.

He told us he had never shared this before with anyone but when he was 23 he hit an all time low. He couldn't physically stand the sight of himself and thought nothing of his talent or future. he hated himself. He felt weak and defeated and at 23 he tried to kill himself. he took a shotgun and attempted to end his life.

It was at this point that time stopped. And his eyes began to swell. and this icon.. this myth.. this legend.. began to cry.

He told us of how his parents were never supportive to him and he never felt like they truly loved him. About his regrets with his family growing up and how he felt so alone.

It came to a point where he had to say "I'm all I've got" and he dedicated himself into his makeup and became what he is today.

He talked about how the last thing we want to become are our parents but we only learn to love from them. His oldest son is 45 and getting out of tragic divorce and how he felt like his son never learned to love as a result of him. and he started to cry again.

He started talking about the Hoffman institute that will take an individual and the effects of their parents on their life and work through all the demons to become the best person you can be by facing your past, and working through it. His son had gone in a few months back and came out a changed man.

Through tears and a broken tone.He told us he himself was going to be admitted this October to work through his own demons from his parents. And with wide eyes, full of tears, the most innocent and fragile voice looked up and said "at 82.. it isn't too late is it?"

And my life stopped. I had to cry.

To see someone so powerful suddenly become so human. To think my god.. everyone is never what they are perceived to be. The strongest man can be so weak.. it was beautiful. At 82 he was going to try to fix what was left. it really never is too late.

I know my own past with depression and suicide and my father. While it holds me back, haunts me at times, and has shaped every part of who I am at only 24.. it was inspiring. Shocking. I was in awe.. of the moment. Of the man.

I cant even do justice with my words to all of the emotion that was experienced in that room for 3 hours.

And at the end of it all he gave us his cell phone number if we ever needed to talk.

I came to this school to learn makeup and suddenly i'm knee deep in life lessons, remorse, and growth from a man I will never look at the same way again.

He is now my equal. Another human being just trying to figure out how to survive. I wish everyone could have experienced the beauty, honesty, and purity of an 82 year old man who is supposed to be hateful and calloused ... cry .. and mourn love... it will reshape the way you think.

I cant even type im crying just thinking about it.

to see into a persons soul.

i should just stop writing now.. its actually far to hard to convey. i lied. don't read this.it all comes out wrong.

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 01:54:11 GMT

soo much to report.

first off i went to terrormania to work on the house tonight and i signed up to be the greeter. its the top paying position and basically everynight for a month i would go there and welcome everyone and give them the whole speech about not touching actors and trying not to piss their pants, give them a rope, and send them in to be scared shitless. tom savini was there tonite and thought i would make an excellent greeter since i have such a "look" but that i migh want a costume. so i told him about the catholic school girl outfit i had and how it would be cool if i was a dead zombie school girl with tattoos welcoming everyone. he loved it and asked if i had any pictures of me in the outfit i could leave up there with him to look it over. LURKER ! ! !

also i got 1/2 of my fetus mold done and left a message with some candy company about buying the plastici would need for the molds. i have to have them done by the 28th. im going backstage at ozzfest and i must give one to phil anselmo as i think he will adore the idea and possibly order more. premie-yumms will conquer all.

also i started work on a package for collin whick should be cool.

aside from all that i decided the one thing i miss the most about tim is taking baths with him. (fuck off if you think its gross) we dont do it we just chill all vulnerable and throw water and shave eachothers legs. its fun and god damn it i miss it. everyone should have a bathtime tim.

im going to bed now.

eff off.

Wed, 18 Aug 2004 00:31:41 GMT

today i paid my vills at 10:00am, bought 2 boxes of cereal and a gallon of milk, and sat on my ass for the last 8 hours eating and watching the freaks and geeks box set.

i think i might have to trade my love for max casella in for martin starr.

its a good thing f&g didnt air when i was younger or else 1,000's of inanimate objects from my past would have been named bill haverchuck instead of vincent delpino and lets be honest.. one obviously has a better ring to it.

i also took the freaks and geeks trivia challenge which i require everyone to take..

http://www.freaksandgeeks.com/otherjunk/sat_index.html

now its time to lurk online, listen to handsome boy modeling school, and miss tim..

and maybe play scrabble if kurrah would ever sign on.

ahh the busy days of us monessenites.

i update too much

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 03:43:32 GMT

okay so lets start with the pictures...

and now for the idea..

i came up with it a few years ago and it seems now i can amke it happen. tomorrow im making 3-d molds of this fetus i sculpted. then saturday i will go to the candy store and buy the plastic molding candy trays and make t negatives that when alligned i will be able to pour into and form 3-d candy fetus

the fetus will be made out of a gummy bear recipe and will be veiner if blueberry, bloodier if cheery, and moldier if apple.

then the fetus will be put in a jar (.40 cents piece) and submerged in a liquid lolli pop recipe.

yes a fully edible fetus in a jar.

called premmie-yumms

they will be available for sale to the public starting with Terrormania and the first run will be limited to 666. hand numbered. depending on costs im looking at selling them for 3-4-5 bucks.

place orders now.

ima be rich. feared. and go skrait to hell.

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 02:34:58 GMT

tonite was uneventful and sad.

i woke up pretty self bumming due to some stupid comments carelessly throw around last night.

got out of class. and started to walk home in the rain. life didnt feel like it was going to give me much else out of the day.

came home, watched simon birch and forgot just how sad that movie was. cried for an hour.

then ryan text me. andres in colorado right now. he was supposed to fly home today. ryan told me yesterday andre was real happy to be coming back cause his dad was 2nd in line in the state for a transplant and 1st in line out of the hospital. but today his dad died. that makes me feel rotten because i'll never know what that feels like. i dont relaly have a dad.

and i spent the last 30 minutes online just so i could download... with dial-up.. "this boy" by the beatles which i plan to smoke too in one minute and then retire for the evening.

tomorrow can only get better.

oh and i got to tired to wait up kara. scrabble tomorrow though?

the magnetism of the toothless

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 00:40:03 GMT

okay its getting ridiculous..

the day i did that awful y101 modeling gig i found 2 boys who were missing the same exact tooth as me.. all with retainers.. and i thought that was fate.

one week later im in NY at a bmx competition and i meet riley who is ALSO missing the same exact tooth.

i come to school and my teacher chris is also missing the same tooth. all retainers.

some by on myspace starts IMing me today... and guess what. toothless.

dave suggested i make a coffee table book. when you open it.. for each two visible pages.. the one on the left would be a candid shot of said toothless person.. with tooth out.. doing something. like sitting at a restaurant. a bar. a line. a church. what have you that fits said persons persona. and on the opposing page just have a quick blurb. like..

my page would be me all tattood up scultping a monster just grinning slyly. and the blurb to the right would say ...

beth. 24. richmond, va.
guy in a fist fight.

eddie's would be him at a bar.. tooth in his glass..

eddie. 26. birmingham, al.
maglight in a fist fight.

you get the idea.
i think it would be cute and creepy.
and since everyone has lost them to things like.. crow bars.. car accidents.. pools.. bmx.. hygiene.. other assorted goodies. i think it would just be a cute photo book.

what do YOU guys think... for 10 bucks would YOU buy it?

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 02:45:33 GMT

today is a sad day.

awful arthurs in the bottom is officially closed.

that place will belong to an era i suppose.

everything i ever loved in richmond, proven once again, falls to shit.

no more tuesday nights. no more beth mix's and 5 dollar tabs. no more free pool and endless touch screens. no more rob and evan. no more no more no more. blah.

i seriously think ive mentioned that plave in 85% of my entrys here.

if that bar was Cheers. this girl was Norm.

now where is everybody gonna know my name?